Landing on My Own Two Feet...this time in LA

I have been back now, coming on two weeks. But everything seems a bit hazy.
"Go slow" is what Ed, the NGO head kept telling me. I didn't really understand at first. But am now coming to understand a bit more what he meant. In fact, I am realizing that I couldn't speed up a reentry to the US if I wanted to.

Being an achiever, as we all are, is a wonderful thing. It is what allows Haiti to recover, it is what allows rise of the poor, survival of the marginalized and, really, what makes our worlds go round. Blind achieving, however, can become empty and even painful at times. The drive to stay on that anticipated path we've imagined for ourselves can overshadow so much else in life: feeling a moment in its present state, accepting sadness, embracing blissful happiness and the relief of relinquishing complete control on every movement yet to come.

As I reenter my world in LA I feel hands free, perhaps like those mamas with the babies on their backs. I don't feel a loss of control, but I no longer feel the need to hold on tightly. Life now feels more like swimming, perhaps in a bit of murky water right now. But I know I won't sink, even further, I know good and bad lies in front of me and in many senses I just can't control it.

Despite the lack of control, nothing has changed...I never had more control to begin with. Only my perspective has changed.
I tolerate hard times and emotions.
I accept the ups and downs of life and move through them ("like leaves moving down a stream of water" a friend once told me).
I grant myself the patience to move at the pace I need to.
I remain flexible to adapt to what life may toss my way.

Lastly I swim forward, not fully understanding where I am supposed to go or what lies ahead, I just repeat to myself with each stroke: Progress is Happiness.